Advice for parents when they lose a baby

The most valuable piece of advice any newly bereaved parent can be given is ‘do not rush, or be rushed by others, into making any decisions’.

Time spent with your baby and time saying goodbye – these are moments which you can never reclaim or relive. Each of them should be treasured and that is why it is essential to take your time making decisions and planning the most appropriate ceremony for you and your child.

If you have lost a baby in pregnancy hospital staff will usually offer the authority’s services in helping arrange a funeral, which could mean your baby being included in a ceremony with other babies. But it is your right, which is not always made clear, to make your own private arrangements for a personal ceremony. This can be done for babies lost quite early in pregnancy.

It is also your right to take your baby home with you and hospital staff should assist you with this. There are formalities to be completed but, if a doctor is available to complete the necessary certificates, you can take your baby home as soon as this is done.

If you require help and advice in making arrangements contact a funeral director – perhaps someone in your family can recommend one who has helped them in the past. Most, if not all, funeral directors will assist you free of charge for their services. This is also the case with some churches and cemetery authorities although others will charge reduced fees.

If you would like to arrange a personal funeral for your baby but are worried about the cost just ask a funeral director for guidance. You may be eligible for help towards any funeral expenses from the Social Fund.

Do not be afraid to talk to family about what you would like to plan – they may also like to be involved if you ask them and would perhaps wish to help with financial support.

Above all, remember that advice – ‘do not rush, or be rushed by others, into making any decisions’. You cannot go back and change things afterwards – take your time to make things as perfect as possible for your last precious moments with your little one.

*if you want to speak to someone for completely impartial advice, please get in touch with us via our contact page or call Stephen on 07980289177